I love my husband dearly
He truly is my heart
But when it comes to romance
He falls down at the start
His best flirtatious efforts
Has him dancing all about
Mick Jagger form of strutting
With his thingies hanging out
Often when the time has come
To end a busy day
Kids are tucked up in their beds
The washings put away
To change in my pyjamas
Is a chore to say the least
Then from my corner eye
Will come, this crazy dancing beast!
A candle by the bathtub
Soft music, glass of wine
A flower that’s been handpicked
Could have me feeling fine
It’s surely not much effort
And he really needs to know
Will get him more attention
Than his dancing willy show
Hanging in the playground
Talking to my friends
Thinking we were all the same
With familiar trends
Telling different stories
Of our Mothers plight
How they handled stressful times
Or when they’re in a fight
One girl starts to tell her tale
With big round ogle eyes
Her Mum once
Yelled out “BLOODY”
In an angry screechy cry
Another told her Mothers tale
One night while in a fit
Threw her arms up in the air
Screaming the word
A third girls Mum is more creative
In her verbal land
Yelling certain cursing words
About the holy man
As the tales got round to me
I broke in to a sweat
Can’t come back to my house cause…..
My Mum has got Tourette’s!
Duane and Sharon were preparing to go home, it had been a fun Schoolies week.
It was great to be away by themselves and get up to a bit of harmless mischief.
Fart the third planet in the Troll solar system had always been a favourite get-a-way spot. It never got boring taking the run-a-round down to the surface and buzz some lonesome vehicle or campers in the desert, wilderness or any isolated place for that matter and then betting how long it took to make it onto a news broadcast.
Duane’s personal favourite was doing “wheelies” in the wheat and barley fields whereas Sharon loved chipping off large pieces off the ice-flows to see how far they had travelled next time she visited. All round Fart was a great holiday destination, the people were backward but they had great imaginations.
Sharon prepared the ship for take off; she manoeuvred the vessel over the Northern Pole to hide the tiny but traceable accelerator blast. Duane sat down next to her.
“OK everything’s secured let’s go” He said
“Roger that. Initiating preliminary vacuum thrust….now, hang on what’s that?”
Shannon turned to Duane as the vacuum engine started then died interrupted momentarily by a very loud clunking sound .
“Sounds like something got sucked in to the drive, probably one of those old satellites not on the chart ” explained Sharon.
“Let’s have a look-see” replied Duane.
They both unbuckled and went to the back of the ship. Duane opened up the inspection panel that revealed the drive.
“Awww gross” he said in disgust
“Give me a look” Sharon said pushing him out of the way.
Oh yuck” she said. The vacuum drive was clogged with fur, antlers and twisted metal, tracers of toys and red cloth were everywhere. Intermingled within all this mess were traces of meat and blood.
“Oh Shit , you know what this means don’t you? Sharron said looking back towards Duane.
“Yep” he replied “ Dad is going to be so pissed, I’m going to have to use his SAAA card and get a tow. That’s going to cost a bit”
“Oh well you make the call I’m going to carve my initials in that lump of ice the locals call Greenland”
Lea tucked her little girl into bed, gave her a soft kiss on the lips and turned out the light as she closed the bedroom door.
Usually very much the water baby, Sarah had not stayed in her bath very long and Lea loathed to pull the plug to release the steaming water.
“Perhaps I could make use of that,” she mused.
Lea waited a few minutes. Hearing gentle snores from behind the closed door, she relented, undressed and lowered herself into the bath. The water lapped at the rim, threatening to spill over, taking multitudes of plastic farm animals with the flow.
She didn’t care. Instead she lay back and closed her eyes. The water cooled. Lea pondered hopping out, watching the toys bobbing in the water, a tan horse, a black cow and a brown … what was that long brown thing?